One Show's Over
While I like to keep things in order, or at least I don't like to mix the unnecessary with the essential, I want to inform this empty void of a blog about some recent things in my life which - aforementionedly - fall into the category of things I imagine don't fit my style or don't match with the diverse but systematic nature of my presentation. Pointless courtesy aside, I shall update you about few changed - occurred matters:
Depression
Yes, I've been battling this crying anxious monster for quite some time now, few years, I definitely underestimated its power and painful retribution which has been consuming me ever since I started skipping school. It's deeper than I thought, verbal bullying, unstable family, problems with studying, personal problems. All mixed together with puberty. I've seen so many- too many psychologists and psychiatrists, none seemed to find the right way to help me get over this terrible phase or make my strays half the size. I believe my family wants the best for me and so do I, but I always seemed to have found something that pulls me lower again.
Hospitalization
On the 20th of October 2017, I finally broke down crying at school and was immediately transported into a hospital in a neighboring city where I stayed until the situation calmed down a little and met with psychiatrist to sort things out with me, making sure if I was good to go or if further trip to asylum was necessary. Throughout the stay, things were relatively fine for me, however it went down the rabbit hole again when I curiously checked messages from my girlfriend.
Break Up
On the 24th of October 2017, Without much detailed explanation I was informed by my girlfriend that she officially breaks up with me. I surmise a deeper reason why she suddenly did what she did, but being tolerant is an importance valued greatly in relationships such as being honest. I accepted the cryptic statement obviously. Though it was hard to bear while in the middle of a shitstorming depression and plans for our Halloween night.
Honestly, I don't really know what to think about it?
School, Social Services, Family, Me - plans
Frankly however, I was let out on the 25th of October 2017 and sent back home. Right now I'm absurdly busy with all that is mentioned above. I'm about to fix it, finish school and choose the right to fit. At the moment, I am unsure of which one I should choose though. Unsure of what path I should take: If I want to continue in drawing and find some kind of Art School or if I see some different possible potential I could use up. As soon as I get rid of the school problems - I believe the Social Services will stop as well. I will help my family and proceed to take better care about myself and my blunt decisions.
