Out of Shape [Chapter 2]

After taking a shower in his private bathroom, Haji felt a little more clear headed.

Okay, so maybe he had overreacted a little. He’d spent weeks stewing up this mess inside his head. He didn’t need a whole lot from Yura to blow it all up on him. He glanced at his image in the misted up mirror, but the blurry reflection offered him gracefully little to go by.

Not that he expected one work out to melt off all the extra padding his body had acquired over two months, but he did feel better after letting his frustrations out on the punching bag. Now his muscles ached, though, and he knew from experience that the pain would only get worse if he didn’t replenish the energy he’d just burned. But he didn’t have any food in his room, and getting some would require leaving it and risking a run in with Yura...

Haji let out a sigh, shaking his head as he padded towards his dresser. He caught a pair of boxer briefs from there and pulled them on.

He knew he needed to fix things with his partner. None of this was truly Yura’s fault, anyway, but now that his anger had passed, he realized how embarrassing the whole thing was. A black-rain-hermit should always control their emotions, and here he was, blasting his off with a megaphone.

So he’d gotten a bit chubby. So he was a little jealous. Neither of those things needed to be Yura’s problem.

They are if you’re not up to her level, whispered a voice at the back of his head.

Haji scowled to himself, then grabbed his stele from the dresser before sitting down on the edge of his bed. He didn’t need hunger grumps to add to his bad mood, and since there was no food to be eaten, he had to get creative.

He glanced down, then wished he hadn’t. Sitting down like this, a little roll formed over the waistband of his boxer briefs, like reminder of his usual feeding habits. He could still see the outline of his abs under the pudge, but only because they were pumped from the workout. Everything else was soft... Alec forced his eyes to move from his little belly to his side. There was a spot there he could use.

Leaning back, he started to draw a rune. It had been a while since he’d last used this trick, but after years of drilling, the shape of the it still came out perfect on his skin. He winced as the heat of the stele scorched his flesh, but it was a familiar pain and thus easily born.

The effect was immediate: the growling in his gut settled, the need to feed disappearing as waves of satiation spread through him. It was a pleasant feeling, not like a food coma but like an energizing drink that fulfilled you, fired up your engine. As Haji straightened up, he already felt a lot better.

Not bad , he thought, fingers brushing over his empty stomach. Mentally, he felt like he’d just eaten a full meal, but no food had passed his lips, his belly still soft and not bloated. He made a mental note of the fact as he scooted off the bed to grab more clothes. He still needed to eat later, but at least the nourishment rune would buy him a couple hours.

A couple more hours to avoid Yura.

There was a knock on the door. Haji froze mid movement. “Just a sec!” he called and jumped into his sweatpants. He pulled on a t-shirt as he strode towards the door, but just as he laid his hand on the door handle, a sense of precognition came over him.

He knew it would be Yura even before he opened the door, but that didn’t prepare Haji for the sight of her. There was something striking in the way she looked that never quite wore off, making every time he saw Yura an exercise in restraint of the don’t get lost in her eyes variety.

Yura looked like she was trying hard not to cross her hands over her chest, trying to appear calm when she was really brimming with emotion. Her hands hovered restlessly at her sides, like she missed the feel of her blades there. When Haji didn’t speak, she gave up with a sigh and wrapped her arms over her chest, glancing down before looking straight into Haji’s eyes.

“Can I come in?”

Haji licked his lips, then rolled his shoulders in a shrug and stepped aside to let Yura in. “Sure.”

Yura didn’t waste time in the corridor, but walked past Haji into his room. Once inside, she turned immediately back to Haji. “Can we talk?”

Now it was Haji’s turn to cross his arms. He pulled in a breath, exhaling before asking in a level voice, “About what?”

He saw Yura’s jaw tighten, her eyes narrowing. “About you storming off for now reason at all, acting like I did something to hurt you?” Yura took a few steps closer, the expression on her face flickering from anger to hurt. “Look. I just got back--can we not do this right now?”

He could feel Yura’s feelings through their bond--he knew he was the one acting like a brat here, lashing out at Yura for no reason, but he wasn’t done yet. There was still a part of him that wanted to keep the fight going, so he let his bitterness run free. “Yeah, well you were the one who came back and immediately started poking into my business.”

“What?” Yura stared at him with confusion, until her eyes dropped down to Haji’s waist. There she seemed to finally connect the dots. Haji willed himself to keep still as his eyes lingered on the once loose t-shirt that was probably not fitting like it used to. “You mean--” Yura started, but she stopped herself, her brows furrowing as she weighed her words carefully.

Haji could feel his patience waning with each moment Yura kept looking at him like that. Just say it , he shouted in his head, his heart racing in his chest as he waited for Yura to keep going. “I mean, what?” he prompted, voice flat, still frozen in place.

Yura lifted her gaze. “Nothing. Haji, this is nothing . It doesn’t--”

“ Nothing? Maybe it doesn’t matter to you, but--”

“ Listen. ” Yura closed the distance between them, her hands flying up in exasperation. She looked at Haji with sharp eyes. “I’m sorry if I said something that hurt you, but this whole thing is just, just.” She shook her head like nothing made any sense, then took in a deep breath and said, “You’re not fat , Haji. That’s what I mean, okay?”

Hearing the words from Yura’s lips, it should have made him feel better. But instead, he clung to the hurt inside him; he’d spent too long cultivating it to let go that easily. “You said I looked bigger.”

Yura made a sound, her expression faltering. “Well, you do , but--that’s not a bad thing.” She looked away, and Haji suddenly realized he was blushing.

He frowned. “How can that not be a bad thing? If I’m not fat yet , I’m getting there.”

“Hey, now, you’re not getting fat. Maybe you’re a bit... chubby , but that’s--it’s not the end of the world. You look strong, and-- good. ”

Was he dreaming this, or had Yura just told him his chub looked good ? He couldn't have heard that right. But then Yura’s eyes returned to him and there was something new there he’d never seen before, a new feeling flowing between their bond...

And then Yura stepped up and wrapped her arms around Haji in a tight hug.

“I don’t think you’re weak, Haji.” Yura spoke softly, her voice meant only to carry from her lips to Haji’s ears. “You are you, in good and bad, and I am me in the same way. I’m not perfect either. We balance each other, that’s the whole point, right?”

Yura tried to pull back to look at him, but Haji held her back. He wasn’t ready to meet Yura’s eyes just yet, and--he needed this hug, okay? He moved his arms to encircle Yura’s shoulders and pulled him in tighter. When he felt Yura do the same, giving into the hug with the same desperation that guided Haji’s hands, something unknotted inside him.

He took a deep breath, then exhaled. “I’m sorry.” He held on a little while longer before releasing Yura from his bear grip.

“It’s okay, I got it.” Yura’s lips curled into a smile, and Haji felt himself smile too.

“I guess... I was a little jealous.” He shrugged, trying to relax before talking again. “I had no one to talk to and things kind of--spiraled, so. I’m sorry about, uh, all of this, basically.”

Yura had waited for him to finish his apology before breaking into a full grin. “Apology accepted, though you got nothing to be jealous of. The whole training was a snooze fest, anyway. You didn’t miss anything.” She chuckled, patting Haji on the arm.

“I missed you .”

Yura didn’t miss a beat in his reply. “Missed you too, brother.”

Her smile made Haji ache to lean down and kiss those lips--but like the searing heat of the stele’s blade, this pain was also a familiar one. One he would bear to the ends of time, it seemed.

“Now, you ready for dinner?”

Haji blinked. “Dinner?”

“Yeah!”

He opened his mouth; his fingers skirted over the rune on his side, covered by his shirt. “I--I’m not really all that hungry?”

Yura’s brows shot up. “Didn’t you just do a full workout? Usually you’re starving after a beast like that.”

There was something about Yura knowing his habits that made Haji’s insides squirm. Usually , he would pounce at the mention of dinner--no wonder he’d ended up pudging up so quickly. But he’d just used the nourishment rune, so his hunger was gone for the moment. He should just tell Yura about the rune, but before he could, Yura was speaking again.

“Hey, I know you’re worried about your weight, but you gotta eat if you want to keep training. Skipping meals isn’t going to help you in the long run.”

Oh.

Of course, Yura would leap to that conclusion. Haji could see the worry in her eyes, feel it through their Bothon bond, but it didn’t make it any less embarrassing. “Don’t worry,” he said, looking away to hide his burning face. “Wasn’t my plan.”

“Good,” Yura said, already heading towards the door. “Because I got two months worth of Institute gossip to catch up on, and who else is gonna give me the latest on who’s banging who?”

Haji snorted, turning to follow him. “Caramella, probably.”

Yura laughed. “Well, she’s gonna have to wait her turn. This dinner is gonna be between my best bro and me.”