Out of Shape [Chapter 1]
A tiny Haji x Yura weight gain fanfic, it's currently unfinished ;; enjoy
The punching bag gave a leathery thud when his fist connected with it. The impact traveled up his arm and Haji winced, but he pulled his hand back for another punch before the shock subsided, going only slightly lighter this time. He danced around the mark, landing punches on the target, alternating between jabs and heavy blows.
One-one-two. Two-one-two. One-two-one.
Following the familiar pattern of drills was usually as easy as walking; he didn’t need to think about the sequences, just follow the flow. After all, training had been his whole life since he was old enough to follow orders, and that hadn’t changed.
Training had taken off the edge when he’d felt anxious. It had reassured him when he felt doubt, transformed his frustrations into movement, to speed and power.
Training had always made him feel better, before.
Two-two-one-one. One-two-two.
He punched the bag again and again, his heart thudding as fast as his fists, sweat dripping down his face. But this time, there was no relief from the tight ache that clutched his innards like a cold vice. His blows came out too hard, too careless and rusty, and the harder he tried, the more his anxiety grew, until his right hook hit the bag in a bad angle that set pain flaring up his arm like it had touched fire.
“ Fuck! ”
Haji clung to the bag for support, shaking off his hand. The litany of curses continued inside his head, but it was no use--the fact that he had let himself get so out of shape couldn’t be fixed with a few scathing words.
Besides, it was true. He was out of shape. Not only had he been slacking on his routine workouts, but there was also the matter of his weight. He had barely looked at himself in the past weeks, but he couldn’t fully block out the changes in his body when his clothes felt like they kept shrinking, when his pants got harder and harder to button each day.
Haji squeezed his eyes shut against the taunting voice inside his head.
See how pathetic you are without her. You don’t deserve her support. You’re a disgrace, a fat, pathetic loser.
A new wave of frustration welled up inside him. He pushed himself off the bag in disgust and launched another attack on the training bag, trying to beat out the feeling that threatened to overwhelm him again, but every hit was just a reminder of his fall. He could feel the extra flesh now padding his muscles rippling with aftershocks as he picked up the pace, and it felt so weird , so-- humiliating.
He wasn’t even sure what made this time so different from all the other times he and Yura had been apart, but for the past two months, he’d been a mess. Maybe it was the fact that it had been two whole months , and during that time, he’d hardly heard anything from his confidant. Sure, he knew cell phones didn’t work in Eelry, but--
No. You don’t get to blame this on her.
He slammed his fist on the bag so hard it swung back violently, only to spring back immediately with equal force. He barely manage to get out of the way before it hit him in the face.
It wasn’t Yura’s fault she’d been chosen for that special training course, and that Haji hadn’t. It wasn’t Yura’s fault she was so much better than him. And it certainly wasn’t Yura’s fault that instead of spending all those days and weeks trying to improve and reach the same level as him, Haji had fallen into a slump.
It wasn’t Yura’s fault that Haji had quelled his emotions with whatever he could shove into his mouth and as a result, he’d put on weight to the point where he was getting soft. Out of shape. Fat.
The self-deprecation rolled through his head in a steady stream of insults as he kept going, trying to ignore the fatigue in his limbs. There was an edge of desperation to his moves now, like he could really fix two months of slacking and emotional eating in a day if he just tried hard enough, but--he couldn’t face Yura like this. Anger pushed him forward and he gave a shout, his jab loaded with so much energy that it sounded like an explosion when his fist hit the bag, the sound echoing off the stone walls of the training hall with his own voice.
“Easy, there, brother! That poor bag ain’t hurt nobody, as far as I know.”
At first, Haji thought he’d imagined it. Yura wasn’t supposed to be back until tomorrow, but he’d know that drawling voice anywhere. His body moved faster than his brain and he spun around towards the speaker, equal parts dreading and hoping his senses were telling the truth.
And--it was her. Yura was leaning against the opening that lead to the training area with her hands crossed over her chest. There was nothing visibly different about her--she might as well never left, so familiar was the sight. Yura’s lips curved into that cocky half a smile she so often wore, but the moment their eyes met it grew wider, genuine affection softening her features.
It only took her a couple steps to wrap her arms around Haji--he’d met Yura halfway without consciously thinking of moving at all, needing that embrace now more than ever.
But the moment he felt Yura’s arms loosen around him, the question sprung from his lips. “What are you doing here?”
Yura scoffed, throwing him a half shrug and patting him on the arm as she took a step back. “Early release for good behavior.” Haji knew her well enough to read that quirk of her brow as, as far as they know. He didn’t believe for a second Yura had left the ladies of Eelry off that easy. He glanced away, but Yura didn’t. Haji could feel her eyes traveling over his body, and suddenly, he wanted to hide.
He crossed his hands over his chest. Yura frowned, her eyes darting down Haji’s front. “You been working out a lot while I was gone?”
Haji froze. “What?”
“You look--different.”
Yura was still staring at him--he could almost see the cogs turning inside his head as Yura scrutinized the fit of his clothes, the bulge of his biceps. The softness of his abs his sweaty top couldn’t hide. As if looking wasn’t enough, Yura lifted her hand and brushed it over Yura’s waist, her frown deepening like she still didn’t believe what she was seeing, feeling.
“You look bigger.”
Haji flinched, the color draining from his face. Of course, Yura would notice, but--couldn’t she have waited five minutes before calling him out? Haji scoffed, trying to play it for a joke, but his tone came out all wrong, too flat and tight. “So what?” He took a step back, looking around for a towel when really, all he wanted was to look anywhere but at Yura.
The real kicker was that Yura could probably feel the emotions running through him right now, filtering through their bond. Haji couldn’t even hide his weakness from Yura, and that only fed to his self loathing.
“Hey, it’s okay.”
Usually, when Yura’s voice got soft like that, it made Haji’s heart do weird things. Now it felt like fuel to the fire inside him, an insult to injury. He didn’t want Yura to comfort him. He wanted to be stronger than that. “Yeah, well, we can’t all be perfect little super soldiers, can we,” he muttered, half to himself, but of course, Yura caught his words.
“That’s not what I said.”
Yura’s hand touched his arm, but Haji shook it off. “Might as well admit the truth. I’ll never be good enough to be your confidant . I’m just--just fat and pathetic.” His words came out in a rush, hard and clipped. He scoffed again, shrugging, trying to calm down, but all he wanted to do was keep punching things.
“Haji--”
“I’m done for today.” Haji shot Yura a cold look, then grabbed his towel and stalked out.
