DA Notes: 2#

Last words of a madman

"Why am I falling apart?.. Why must I undergo this agonizing disintegration? Some would even say, a metamorphosis. It's so arduous, excruciating and unbearable... Two other heads are growing from the sides of my collarbones, just like triplets, no, that's not the worst thing. I'm not even recognizing myself anymore. What or who am I? ...I feel every organ in my body doubling for those two hungry parasites who's been slowly replacing my very own being. I'm a monstrum, so hideous everytime I look in the mirror, everytime I catch a glimpse of myself in anything that reflects this pitiful grimace of mine. I'm no longer aware of my character, I make delusions, I try to cut them off, I try.. to fight back. But I can't. There's no way. They continue to grow, day by day - every night, every second I waste by writing this, their growth increases. And just like that, I'm starting to lose my own character, after all, aren't I just a fish feed? They take what they need, nutrients, vitamins, building materials.. They simply nourish of me, like two hungry babies, glued to their mother- who's obviously me. What an adorable thought, I thought they were cysts, then I thought they were tumors and after further examination, I realized... I'm insane. It didn't take me long to realize... I failed to remain the same.. With nowhere for my emotions to go... All I felt was... Sadness. Sadness, anger and this eternal madness. Therefore it's only me who sees these things eating me alive, siblings or things, things or children, I don't care. I shouldn't care and I won't anymore. They warned me, they told me to care about myself first, that my health was important, that my long past crystal clear mind was my top priority. Heh They were right, I ended up as a fool, more precisely a crazy fool. Don't strain yourself, ____. I didn't listen, I was careless, career and my family became my cage. My past prejudices, mistakes, countless of hopeless tries, until it possessed me. The first time I saw that asshole creeping behind the couch. DELUSIONS.. ILLUSIONS.. Lies.. corruption, pills. I never held any prices high, I never valued myself as a person. I never thought of.. Am I important to some people out there? I never realized what I had until it was too late. I never knew, I never considered myself as a human anyways. Moron. Yea, I'm a big douche.. heh.. h-heh.. sniff... h-ghh.. Why do I even bother? Will anyone ever find this and remember me? Finally, a way how to kill this worthless cockroach. In the end, the one on the left is going to punch me to death, while the right twin's going to collect as much as possible, selfish bastard. Either way.. I can say that, I lived a bad...- "

Lifes.